...A challenge accepted!

So I am going through a massive life change right now. Yeah I found something else to blog about even though I should go to bed coz I have to go early tomorrow. Anyhoo, I have things about myself I don't like. Things about my body, my bad habits, my personality, you get the drift.

I started with my room. A complete and total mess. Represents my mind. It is now clean, tidy and re-arrange though I am still trying to work in the Feng Shui but having a mirror (especially the one I have) is bad so I am figuring ways I can change that. I feel much clearer in my mind like I have more room to think.

Now to work on the body and the personality. This starts with excersize, healthy eating and cleansing of the mind and body by clearing the rest of your space. For eg. Spaces you are frequently found (i.e. living room, kitchen, work.) Keep them clean and clutterless. Work on your body. Not just the parts you want to fix, but all of it. Keeping yourself toned, fit and healthy leads to a better well-being and the release of more of the good stuff into your body such as endorphin's that make you happy. Healthy eating also makes sure that all that excersize doesn't go to waste. Plus you feel better too when you eat something healthy and light rather than something heavy, fatty and sloppy. :) It's not hard when you get going. I have actually lost 10 kilos in the past year and I now weigh 70kg though probably less now that I have started this....but I haven't weighed myself for a while. I probably should.

I am also making a positivity poster! Decorate it! Make it pretty! Write on it with bright colours all the things you like about yourself and things that make you feel good like going for a walk or seeing the sunset/rise. Stick it somewhere you will see it everyday! Mine is going on my mirror!

It has been emotional so I won't lie and say that it is easy. I have snapped, cried, laughed and even completely broken down. I even broke down the other day when I rode a bike for the first time in years. The first part of the bike ride my dad decided we'd start up hill....I almost died after five minutes and threw up. I felt so gutted and devistated that my cardio os so bad that I rode home and let dad finish his bike ride....But I picked myself up when he got back and took myself on an easier ride for 40mins....I felt much better about myself and started at a level I was more capable of. I have bought a skipping rope and a new pair of running shoes (which cost a fortune but are worth it) to help build my cardio because I have to be able to get a minimum of 7.5 on the beep test. I have 2 years and no more to reach this goal otherwise my life's goal to be an army nurse dwindles down the drain. I also made my own weights out of two 600ml water bottles, rocks and water to help build muscle in my arms because I also fail at push ups and need to be able to do 10....I can't even do two. Sit-ups I am proud to say I can actually do 40. I feel the burn afterwoods but I can do them none the less.

All in all I am building my fitness and my well being. It's been difficult and I have had some SERIOUS downers....but I am picking myself up and moving on. I can do this. By this summer I WILL be comfortable enough to where bikinis at the beach. Or even just a full piece with no shorts. I have a goal. I have a dream. I am sticking to it.
:)

Beth xx

P.s Believe!

...Long time no blog!

Well....what can I say. I got lazy? Bored? Distracted? Totally forgot about the blog? Bad internet? Yeah excuses but pshh.

SOOOO. A lot has happened since my last blog which was a bit of a rager.... which I apoligise for.

Anyhoo. So I am not sure whether or not I posted about this but I lost the job at the coffee shop. Long story but they "didn't think I was up to scratch". Actually I reached the end of my probation period and rather than costing them $10 an hour...I jumped up to $13 hour. They can get stuffed.

Also...Wilson's son. The one whose mother I was raging about before....yeah he can get stuffed. He broke my trust. He lost my respect. And he lost my friendship. He can beg and crawl and send as many soppy sorry messages as he wants but he will NEVER get that back. Not explaining why. But he is a disgusting Dirtbag!

Wow it's hard to summerise everything that has happened since my last blog. Fuck I can't spell tonight!

Also on a greater side....I got my Provisional Licence!!! I am so excited because I can now drive everywhere on my own! Which is great because I am house/dog sitting my Aunt's house for a week while she goes on holiday with her husband! I am so excited but my mother is so scared. :) typical mum hehe.

If I think of anything else I need to blog about than I shall blog but right now my brain is mush after a shitty day at work...I filled in for another store....my gosh do they need to learn how to tidy as they go.

anyhoo! Night all!
Beth xx

P.s You're Amazing! Believe it!

...My buisness...not yours bitch!

FOR FUCK SAKE! I am seriously raging right now! Wilsons ex-wife (whom we call vagina) has started shit about the fact her son and I talk, text and IM on Facebook eachother....we are best friends, and that's what best friends do! Being best friends, we talked about a lot of personal stuff, he confided in me as I did him...well stupid idiot ignored me when I said delete all messages just incase coz we know what his mother is like....well he didnt...and Miss Vagina went through them ALL! FML. She sent everything He and I spoke about to Wilson who (apparently chose not to read them but I think he did) and she started shit going off about the content of the messages....this could fuck some things up...I want to hit, scream, scratch, punch, throttle this woman with all that I have and show her how much her kids distrust and have no respect for her....She goes through EVERYTHING they have...their phones, their facebook, their entire life, what they say, do, see...SHE HAS TO KNWO EVERYTHING...been to the toilet but forgot to flush coz you were in a hurry? She'll know about it and her kids will cop it. She tries to wreck my mum and Wilsons relationship and she is trying to fuck me over..but by gosh...she has no right to do this...she has something wrong mentally...I reckon Bipolar to the extreme but this incesive need to know absolutely everything....she even invades my privacy on facebook but going through my stuff then arking up about something on my page...IT IS MY LIFE! She has no need to intrude...

I just want to cry and have a big cuddle. Mum doesn't know what Zach and I spoke about so she doesn't understand why I am soo furious and want to cry...she just thinks I am being stupid....FFS

Miss Virgina...Go die in a hole....go fuck yourself then throw yourself into that little hole and die...No I will never be polite to you. Next time I see you don't expect me to be polite. You have not got my respect or trust therefore I will treat you like you are nothing but a piece of shit...
Sincerely
Beth
xx

...Party, Party, Party!

SUE TURNED 18! We dressed up 50's style and went out for dinner! It was about 10 her good friends there and we managed to get her to have 2 drinks and a shot....my gosh that was amusing! Afterwoods, most people left and who was left over went to a game place....we played so many games and I won the jackpot on one of them! We combine our tickets together and we had over 500! It was great! We all got fairy wands, matching rings with stick on earings, rubbers and Sue got a ninja sword and a dodgy airplane thingy....Sue and her wonderful friend who is now also my friend came back to my house for the night....twas epic...

Beth xx

...Surprise well planned!

So my mothers surprise birthday was a real winner! My cousin stayed over for a few days and helped me wrap my mothers present...I must say I am proud of our wrapping coz it was done with paper and lots of it, feathers, ribbons, tape and staples. It was pretty awesome :P. We then surprised her with some breakfast in the morning then I had to go to work for a few hours. Afterwork I met up with Sue and surprised her with her 18th prezzy....getting her ears pierced! It was funny but she made it through and now she absolutely loves then and doesn't understand why she was so scared to get it done.

Anyhoo my mother picked me up from work and my cousin and I got started with the plans for the rest of the night. As it was Wilsons weekend with the kids, he usually comes over....but cunning as I am, I got Wilson to say that he was going to be late showing up and that the kids had to stay til after dinner at their mums....We decided that we should go to a great Pie place for dinner coz it was cheaper. Anyhoo that was still going to complicate things coz Wilson said that he was stuck in traffic and will meet us a the Pie place.....SOOO we got him to say that his ex wife was being a bitch and that he had had to many beers and couldn't drive and that he will see her the day after....Mum was miserable...but how else would we get her to dress up nice when we were only going to a Pie place? So My cuz Anne and I decided that we should all dress up and have make-overs so that we could feel good outside even if mum may not be to happy inside...but it worked....
We got in the car and I said I would drive...but when it got to that point where we would turn to head to the Pie place...I said "nup, I don't feel like pie".....Boy did my mum lose it then....the whole way to the resturant she kept going off at me then trying to guess where we were going...it was funny.
We rocked up at the shops where the resturant and she thought she had it figured out by then...We walked into the Italian resturant and she thought "hmm ok, I do like this place...Isn't it nice Anne and Beth thought about us three having dinner together...." she was so wrong....when everyone yelled surprise, she cried!!
It was an Amazing night. Pier was probably the one that made me cry the most...he caught a bus...no....3 buses to get there (he has polio and was wheelchair ridden and can only walk with the use of a crutch on good days)...he arrived at 1:30 so he could miss the school kid rush...he waited until 6pm (which was when the party started) for us...and was quite prepared to catch 3 more buses home that night afterwoods which wouldn't guarantee that he would be dropped close to him house....Not to mention that one of his calipers gave away while he was walking causing his leg to break in six places...He is trully the most amazing man alive...I love him to bits!

All in all it was an excelent night!

Beth xx

P.s I forgot the candles to the cake...Luckily there is a woolies nearby and I had a chance to slip away!

...Wondering where the people I care about are...

I am in a mood. I miss so many people, some of which I feel have moved on like I am no longer needed. It's a weird feeling going from the mother-like figure, to the one who's kind of forgotten, left out, out-of-date, out of the loop. What can I say...I actually miss school. But for some reason, even if I went back...It would all be to different. I feel like we have grown apart. They're off making new friends while I'm here missing them like crazy...But those random moments I get from them where they leave me a little message on facebook or something like that actually make me cry...I hate cry but I seem to do a lot of it lately...

I'm even crying now writing this stupid thing...but if I don't write it, it all bottles up inside and just becomes horrible. It's it to much to ask for just a hug, to see the faces of people I care about...To actually see my friends more often. I mean sure work friends are great but they are exactly that...Work friends. I see them when I work, that's as far as the friendship extends. I don't really have friends I can just ring up and say "let's hang out tonight" anymore...I have Sue, but even now she is to busy with everything else. I just miss people. I used to get hugs everyday...I never knew how much I could miss the,. I get them from mum sure...but it's just not the same. I crave to get out more, but of course I work, my friends have school/uni/work OR simply they just ignore my messages or not bother replying to them. That or they live so far away :( FML seems to be to frequent in my vocabulary.

I suppose one person I miss the most is Mok. My little-school daughter. I loved getting hugs from her everyday...her random little comments, how she makes me laugh so hard, just simply everything. It's funny becuase she is now taller than me too. Hehe. <3

My gosh I must sound miserable...haha not to mention I had an 11-9 shift today in seafood which was complete MAYHEM! but anyhoo I will tell you all a funny little story that happend yesterday.

Mum went off to Wilson's for the night so I decided to get comfy and watch Curious Case of Benjamin Button. That movie was long, brilliant, sad and happy. I loved it. But it was a little depressing so I though hey, who cares if it is late, I'll watch Kung Fu Panda to make me laugh before I sleep. In my DVD case I found a movie that shouldn't belong...It was called DirectDiposit...A PORNO! Our neighbour, see, has been borrowing our DVD's about 10 at a time because that is all he does all day...It seems that one day when returning our DVD's he accidently put the porno in the DVD pile...NOT exactly the kinda thing I wanna see when I'm looking for Kung Fu Panda....But anyhoo the damn DVD is still sitting on our bench waiting to go back...the guys already know it is missing and have asked for it back but they haven't been home while we are home so we haven't been able to return their...ah...movie. Thing is though I left it on the table so I could show mum in the morning so she could take it back to them...thank gosh my mum knwos me well enough to know I don't like that sorta thing...esspecially when I was asleep when she came home and found it...I'd left it on the coffee table and forgot to put it on the bench with a note before I fell asleep, but hey, I was pretty damn tired. But anyway I can't wait to get rid of the damn thing coz naked women is soo not my thing, and conisdering it is on the bench for all to see...it's kind of embarrassing....I just hope my mum isn't secretly thinking I am watching them because I know that mum is hiding Wilson's porno DVD's here because his son has been sneaking them...(he's 13 btw). It's funny because I have a slight suspision that Wilson's son knows that they are here and where they are...maybe it's actually one of Wilson's DVD's. But either way, I want it gone.

Beth xx

...Poetry!

So I write a little poetry. It helps me vent...but I was browsing my Facebook notes and came across one of my favourite poems that I wrote a while back. It's dark but I thought you guys might like to read it anyhoo.

The Reaper Smiles

Dreary, cold, discoloured is this night.
Shadows of the trees that loom around her,
Creation of unholy and demonic creatures it creates.
Insanity wrecks this world
Of the children of the night, the underworlders,
Those of demonic blood with soul of pure hatred.
The ruler over them,
For he smiles over each and everyone of them.
Those who dare look at him,
Wondering what exactly lurks under that cloak,
Hiding his ivory coloured bones and his hollow eyes.
Clutching his scyth, four age withered fingers and a thumb.
The reaper looks over the world as if it was his own,
His game, his job.
Ending the life of those around, controlling.
Shivering uncontrollably, he pulls her close,
Wraping his free bony, cloaked arm over her.
Leaning down, he wispers,
"This world you see, the last time you ever will,
At least not in your living body. Your soul shall walk this earth,
wreaking havoc, destroying the minds and perishing all those who dare cross your way.
This is you future, your eternal undead life"
Turning for the last time she ever will, he smiles at her.
The look of dead. Collapses.
Laying limp by his feet, scyth between her rib cage,
He rumbles with laughter,
So deep, so sinister that the dead of the night
Sends howls and cries of the underworld over the ash ridden city.
Smiling again he steps over her, softly he murmers,
"Come, my child, let your soul join the many that roams this earth,
Do my bidding and work for me at you own will.
Scream to me the names of those you long so much for revenge."
"Yes my master" is all she could say,
The world now, she finally sees clearly,
Her targets are you who keep this world at its purest of evil.
Lets not see the reapers smile for ourselves, unless like she,
Who does not fear the reaper, but works for him at her own will.

Beth xx

...Missing Pieces...

I went to visit my old school last thursday. It was open day so I went for only an hour and a half because I had work. BOY do I wish I could have stayed for the entire day. I missed so many people I almost cried. I got to see most of my teachers (all the female ones gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek) and most of all I got to see the friends I dearly miss. Patricia, Mok and Sushi were the mains....though I must admit I cried when I hugge Mok...My little school-daughter. I haven't seen her since I left school last year on Nov 19. I wish I could see her more often....I got the biggest hug from her. Patricia misses me heaps....I wish I could be there for her but unfortunately so many things are trying to keep us apart...I honestly did not want to leave. They followed me around everywhere but leaving them was so hard...As soon as I got in the car I...yet again...Cried. Honestly these people mean so much to me and were the only people I had sometimes and now I don't get to see them....Even one of my teachers cried when they saw me...By gosh I miss them all....I've always thought I was missing pieces and this just comfirms that these are my missing pieces. I want to hug them right now, hug them tightly...not let go.

If only...

Night all
Beth xx

...Shhh.

...I have probably missed a lot of what I wanted to blog about but ah well.
Next week on friday is my mothers birthday. She has no idea what's going on or that something is even going on and I plan to keep it like that. I am throwing a surprise dinner at an italian resturant and all the family and some friends will be there. I can't wait! I already have her prezzy and I have a few other things in mind of what to get her as well. I booked the table tonight and I am ordering the cake tomorrow... :D I am very excited about this...all she knows is that I have taken the night off and that I am cooking her dinner at home or we may go out if we can afford it. She is going to be really surprised :)

The day after is Sue's 18th! It is fifties themed and it's going to be awesome! I am pretty pumped about it. It's going to be at an actual 50's diner and because it is a sat night, there will be hot rods. Hot rods + Us in 50's clothes = Photos? I think yes! I am still deciding what to get her though...I NEED TO GO SHOPPING!

Anyhoo I have one more blog and I shall be up to date with my life right now.....Oh and I also forgot to add....I started barista training last week :D

Beth xx

...Surprise!

Since my new job is giving me so many hours, I have been racking in the cash....Sue and I decided to go spur of the moment bowling...So Worth It. We fail miserably and we even used bumpers but hey! we got skillz....Afterwoods we got ourselves some Nandos and bought bubbles from woolies which we blew all around the shops until we got into trouble.
A few days ago it was my Nanna's 65th birthday and my grandad threw a big surprise party at the RSL. All you can eat? I think so! I caught up with my cousins and even my big sis and her partners daughter came which was great. But to top my night off...I have epic skills on the skilltester machine. I won 5 toys and a heap of chocolate with only $17...I also may have been a tad high off to much caffine and sugar. I kept one toy which was a donkey...I called him Flopsy.

Later this week is easter of course and I don't have much planned but I do have a huge shift in seafood dept on thursday...11-9 FML. I'm also working everyday but fri and sun because they are public holidays...I'm going to be exausted but ah well, think of the cash. I need it for next week.

Beth xx

...Full on

Ok....So I haven't blogged much at all so you are all about to get a massive hit.....My internets been really slow but I have been working heaps...
Supernova! WELL! That was an amazing day. The costumes people wore were brilliant. So many people went right out of there way to make sure they looked almost exactly like the character they were after. But best of all, what I waited for more than an hour in line for....was I got to meet Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy). I was so excited. I have pictures of him shaking my hand and also a sneaky little video of him signing my photo of him for me...Might I add that he is very attractive and his accent is amazing! I litterally cried (I know, typical fan girl) when I walked away I was that excited.

But anyway all in all the day was brilliant. I bought myself a Yoshi toy :D and got a few other things. I ran into a friend whom I haven't seen for over a year. She is like a big sister to me so it was so good to see her. Anyhoo enough about that. I shall right another blog.

Beth xx

...Making New Friends!

Wet'n'Wild! I sure picked a great day to go! Hardly any lines at all and it was a nice sunny day with a warm tempurature but it did get a little chilly. Sue, Mum and I had such a great day....It was just meant to be. Because some of the rides are meant for two people, it meant that mum had to go with some random which is when we met our new friends Tom and Zoe!!!! They were awesome people! They were newlyweds and had come up from melbourne. Gosh they were awesome friendly people....Zoe was scared of water so it seemed rediculous that they went to a water park but eh. It was an awesome day none the less. Unfortuntely The Loop was closed :( was very dissapointed about that coz I haven't been on them before but ahwell.

Was a busy day at work today though...I had stacks of dishes piled up on tables and everything it was crazy but ahwell. I start barista work this week!!!! :D I couldn't be more excited!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEE!!!! anyhoo.

Laters peeps!
Beth xx

...A Skinny Cappuccino and a Flat White in a mug.

 (: Ok. So I may be a tad exausted and my back a little sore but I am loving my new job. Working in a cafe is amazing and the people are so nice. I've had so many hours this week and tonight was my first double shift. I can't wait to sleep but I thought I should blog beforehand. Next week I get to start barista work and well, let's just say, I AM PUMPED! My dad made me promise that I would teach him how to make pretty patterns once I had learned them :P Gotta love him. He was so excited when he got his coffee machine (it's only small and makes one coffee at a time but that's enough for him. But now I have this job he is even more exited because I'll be able to teach him things. I also think I may be getting a slight crush on a guy I work with but eh, I'm not going to let it get to me.

WET'N'WILD tomorrow BABY! Hellz to the yeah. I have'nt been in donkeys months (I know the saying is years but whatever) and it's time to get my adrenalin on. The Loop here I come. Sue is coming with my mum and I though sadly enough my sister can't come and niether can  Wilson but ah well. We'll make a day out of it no matter what!

Laters peeps!
Beth xx

P.s A Personal Thanks to all those who are following my blog and have recently started following my blog :) It's great to know that people find my random thoughts and days interesting so I promise to try and blog more. xox

...Where do I start!?!

First things first. My adorable little sisters turned 2 last week. We had a big brekky with becon, eggs, toast and mushrooms which were cooked on a BBQ. The girls then unwrapped their prezzies. They got a painting board that has a blackboard and a white board, some paints, some new clothes and I got them an etch-a-sketch which is a board that has a pen with a magnet on the end of it and magnet stamps in different shapes....It's awesome and addictive. We spent the day at a big park with just a few of us family. It was really nice. We sat under a tree and had a picnic and afterwoods we had a cake that my step-mum had made. It was in the shape of a little piggy! So cute! Afterwoods we walked across the road to the park and spent ages there. The girls had a ball running around, going on the slides and on the swings. It was just an adorable day. It was great that I got to wake up with them on their birthday. Gosh they are just so beautiful.

On wednesday last week I got a phone call from a cafe I had put my resume into that offered a job with 25+hrs on offer and full training provided. They asked me to come in for an interview on the thursday. I felt great that day and I felt that the interview went really well. The lady was really nice and comfortable to talk to which eased my nerves. She told me that because she had so many more interviews to do, she would be ringing us all back on saturday to tell us how we went. I got a call around 2pm and she sounded dull at first but piped up and said that she had good news and that I had got the job. I was exstatic! Today was my second day (as I started yesterday) and I am really enjoying it. The people are nice and I already new someone that worked there which was great. I started with serving people their coffees and food etc and cleaning the floors and tables and today I got to learn how to use the register. I think I am actually getting the hang of it all. The days go really quick too and I have a shift tomorrow, thurs and friday as well. I still work at my other job in the seafood department of woolies with my usual friday night 5hr shift and my sunday 3hr shift. But it is such a good job! I love it! My week is chokka block!

I can't wait for saturday to go to Wet'n'Wild! I get to go for a cheaper price and I am going with Sue, my mum and Wilson! My big sister might be coming too! But that can't be guarenteed....

Anyhoo I is off because I am tired.
Night all!
Beth xx

...Wtf?

Ok what the hell is with this...All of a sudden these guys who are younger than me by a year or two start liking me and asking me on dates. WTF? Just because I am nice does not mean I like you in that way...I treat everyone the same just like I would like to be treated myself. I find this quite gross actually. I'm into guys who are my own age or even a year older but younger is a definite no. But the weird thing is, that it is after I leave school and when I don't see them at all that they "all of a sudden start talking to me more and liking me or asking me to the movies as friends then turning around and saying "no I want this to be a date"....either way my answer is just simply no. I don't know why but I honestly want to vomit about it. I don't want to be mean or anything but the truth is, not only are they just younger than me, but they are the type of guys who are a little more than the usual weird guy...these are guys who refuse to grow up and are either obsessed with cartoons to the point their room is full of them and all the clothes they own have either spongebob or invader zim. They have cardboard cutouts and stuffed toys of them and even spend their time mimicking their voices (which I must admit he is very good at and can do over 50 differant voices). The next is just so imature in everyway and has gross hygien and past shoulder length greesy hair. He is sweet and all but he is two years younger than me and I have known him since I was in grade 9....He hasn't changed much. Just no. The third I am not really sure if he likes me, but I know I am one of the only girls who will actually talk to him, but he makes me feel uncomfortable....let's just say, it is not going to happen. I must be giving off some vibe that says "Hey, all you guys younger than me, come fall for me, im only gonna break your heart because I don't like younger men but hey! why don't you all start liking me around the same time and irratate the shit out of me"....I hate this. I'm not exactly ready for a relationship, I'm actually kinda a little scared to jump into one because I have trust issues with men thats just so hard to get past and through past experiences (not just my own but with my mum and my sister and just living in the environment I have), I have become pretty picky about the guys I fall for. And it sucks. But the number one thing is that they must at least be my own age or a max of a year and a little bit older.

I just can't get this sickly feeling out of my stomach at the thought of it.

Well...I gotta start getting ready for work soon so laters all.
Beth xx

...What a couple of few days!

I love going to my dads. It has been great fun. Dad had tuesday and wednesday off and a late afternoon-midnight shift.
Dad picked me up tuesday morning early before the sisters went to sleep. we went home and played for a little bit then put them down for a nap. While they napped, dad tought me how to use the coffee maker and we sat up the back under the gazebo thingy and had a coffee while he read the paper and I read my book....the one in my previous blogs :P 12:30 came and the girls woke up. We went to The Coffee Club for lunch....I had the nachos and the girls shared mine because there was so many! Afterwoods we walked around for a bit and I bought the girls birthday prezzy....they turn 2 next week!!! We went home and just chilled for a bit and I read some more. We also made caramal tarts with banana on top then thicken cream to cover the banana. soooo goood. My step-mum came home from work and we bathed the girls and cooked dinner and fed them....gave them a bottle of milk then put them to bed. Then we made our own dinner. Vietnamese rolls with seafood! nomnomnom. I read til late that night.
The next day dad thought it would be good to go to the beach and have fish and chips for lunch with the girls and maybe go for a swim and a play at the park. It was so much fun....the food was good and the girls had so much fun at the park. we went on the swings and down the slide and ran around everywhere. Finally we were tired and went for a little walk along the Jetty. I was holding Bear and the wind was blowing my fringe into my face. Bear kept pushing it out of my face for me....it was so cute. We went back to the car and drove home. Not long after we got home, my step-mum got back from work. So dad took me for a drive to teach me 3 point turns and reverse parking...later we went for another hour at night...he is a great teacher. I again read some more.

Today was pretty simple though I could really go for a sleep in but it looks like I might not get one. I'm back with my mummy now though I coulda cried when I said goodbye to the girls...I really miss them so much already. I am now re-writing my CV and failing miserably but Sue helped me out thankfully!

I gotta sleep badly now but I so desperately want to read.
Fuck it.
Night!
Beth xx

...Seafood Galore

Ok. So I have a new job in the seafood department where I work. It smells bad, we use strong chemicals to clean, it's stressful, and most of the time.....you're on your own. Tomorrow is my third shift and I am so nervous about it. I have to serve, change the trays, clean as I go, keep serving, clean some more, check the temp of everything and record it, wrap everything, bring out the buckets for the prawns, make a bucket of sanitised water for the tags, pack the wrapped seafood away into the cold room (after cleaning the coldroom), put the prawns into the buckets, cover them with ice and put them in the cold room, make slurry for the raw prawns, throw out the old stock, wash and sanitise the trays, hang them to dry, deep clean the floors and the seafood display, rinse it all down, and if I have time wash the left over trays and dividers too. I don't even think I have named everything. But I have 5 hours to do all this...I guess soon enough I will get a routine and things will be smoother and quicker but when it is seafood you are working with, you can't really make mistakes because people can get very sick and work can be blamed for it and then there goes my job. Btw doing all this....I am on my own. Even my first shift I was on my own...I just hope that everything has been re-stocked! I am trying not to phsyce myself out of it but ey what can I do...at least I have a permanent shift fridays nights for 5 hours and sunday arvos for 3. Means money....
Though I am applying for a job at this cafe. 25hours work they want and all training provided. I'll be an assistant barrister something a rather if I remember correctly. I hope I at least get a phone call back about it. Apparently not many people have applied for it and I know someone who works there. If I get the job, that would be great coz I would be able to keep my job in seafood but it depends If it all goes well and which one I prefer.

Well...that reminds me I should print off my resume for tomorrow.
I'll brb with one more blog about the few days I spent with my dad.
Back soon!
Beth xx

...This. Is. War!

Wow I have soooo much to write but I am dog tired and it's only 7:20! Well....I have had a great few days but I'll seperate it all into different blogs. But first of all.....my new obsession! Tomorrow When the War Began....Loved the movie and now I am FINALLY reading the books. Thanks to a great friend, I own the first 2 and well....I have already finised the first and half way through the second....luckily for me I was at the shops today so I got to use the last of my gift card to buy the third book...I know I will have to buy the rest very soon. I love the thrill of it. The tension, the love, the hate, the fury, the suspence. It is just so well written. The characters are portrayed so well and they all have such strong roles. Ellie of course being the main character is just pure awesomeness. But what I love about her is that she is just a true aussie but also a real teenager. I can relate to her and even the others easy. She is strong minded but not a typical hero. She isn't all "macho" I-can-handle-anything-lets-just-step-out-into-the-street-with-guns-and-shoot-all-the-baddies. She has real depth and emotion to her. I hate it when books try and make the main characters invincable. Kinda ruins the story for you.

I managed to also buy the movie today. I have not long finished it...I'm going to start reading my book again soon too because I really just need to know whats going on and how they are going to make it out of this one. I need to know if anyone dies or if Corrie is ok etc....I must have answers but shhhh no one tell me. Let me read :D


Thank you again dear friend! you know me too well...These books are awesome! I could rave all night about them.

Laters peeps. Gotta right my next blog.
Beth xx

...Yet another late night!

I FINALLY got to put positive sticky notes up with Sue! So thats another item off our bucket list! Putting those sticky notes everywhere in the shops was just awesome because we made so many peoples day. We had at least 400 sticky notes and we put them all up. In toilets, on clothes, on walls....Everywhere!
It really made some peoples night. Except we had two bitches run around taking them all down and they were going to throw them out...but these four random chicks went up to them and took them back and put them all back up for us! We were walking towards one end of the shop and these four chicks were walking on the other side and they saw Sue and I putting them up and they turned around and bolted to us. They kept saying how nice it was for us to be doing this and that we should do it all the time. They told us about those two chicks (Sue and I had already seen them taking them down) and what they did for us. They also told us about this one lady who had cancer. She picked up one that said "do one thing that scares you everyday". She turned to the four girls and told them how happy and how much better it made her feel inside because she had been feeling down about her cancer. She felt stronger reading it knowing someone out there was trying to do something positive for the world. They were so excited and they couldn't stop telling us how awesome we were for doing it. So we gave them half of what was left of our sticky notes and they had so much fun putting htem everywhere!

People were also wearing them on their shirts and giving them to the people next to them or their friends. It was really good. We also found a few that had been scrunched up on the floor so we picked them up and put them back where they should be. There was on in particular that I picked up that said "No Fear, You wounds will dissapear"....I decided to give it to some random lady that looked like she might need it. When I gave it to her I smiled and just walked away. Sue turned back to see her smiling at us and turn back to walk where she was going....It really made me feel so good to make people smile and feel ok about themselves. To question where they stand in life, what they are doing, what they want, and everything around them.

You all shoudl try it sometime....I know I will be doing it again soon....Except this time....I am wearing a free hug sign :D

Well...Laters all and Peace out!
Beth xx

P.s Live a little....There is no such thing as shame unless you make it so!

...Awesome as....

I love my big sister Wisey! I hardly get to see her but she came down for my Aunty's birthday last night....It was pretty fun. Being me I decided to slam cake into my little cousin Clarkes face....twas fun. He decided to get me back by also slamming a huge piece of cake into my face. Lets just say I love family. But I love my sister the best! (she told me to write that :P )

Anyhoo, Wisey decided that she would spend the day with Mum and I today. She went to my little job meeting today with me and helped me out with that. I am very grateful for that. Afterwoods she had some things to do and we parted for a few hours. On coming back she joined Mum and I in our little oasis then decided we would lap it at the pool. She also stayed for dinner. Vege burgers...mmmm they're amazing. We sat around afterwards talking for a bit but I had some washing I had to hang out. As I am hanging out my washing, I hear a big splash. Wisey had fallen into our oasis. Mum and I were pissing ourselves laughing and the next thing you know, as my mum hugs Wisey....She is in the oasis too! Of course they didnt want me to miss out so mum thought it would be even more funnier to throw a bucket of water on me...ok maybe a few buckets of water. It was ice cold but quite refreshing. Let's just say, we have finally beaten the heat!

All in all, it has been a great day. Now we are just sitting around the outside table chatting about everything.
So I am off to re-join the convo!
Laters!
Beth xx

...One big mosh pit!

Asking Alexandria, 36 Crazyfists, Dommin, BFMV, Stonesour, Bless the Fall, 30 Seconds to Mars, Coheed and Cambria, Blackout and The Polar Bear Club...with Iron Maden To finish it off. Well all I can say is FUCK YEAH! Gosh, Soundwave was the freaking awesome, amazing, and just pure epic. I have been waiting since my birthday last year to go and yesterday was the day.
With my friends Maggie and Wise, my day was complete. Moshpits, Death Circles, Wall of Deaths, Crowd Surfing and jumping off speakers into the crowd. I can't get over the excitement. I fell asleep with the entire day playing through my head.
I am speechless about the day...it was just amazing. I hope next years line up is good too coz I am so going!
I still have my wristband on and thankfully, I still have my dignity. After Soundwave, I was waiting for my mum and Wilson to come pick me up and they got a little lost. we found them on the otherside of the street we were on so we colted across the road dodging cars. I was doing pretty well as I was running down the gutter but then I stacked it. All I could hear from the crowd of people walking down the street was "oooohhhhhhh" but I ninja rolled and pretty much saved myself from being seriously injured. I rolled over ninja style and stood up quickly and kept running saying "im oooookkkk". full of adrenalin I bolten the rest of the way and Maggie and I opened up the car door and slid in just in time for the traffic lights to turn green.
I was very impressed with myself. I has the skillz.
SO it's the day after and I am totally exausted but content. All the blue, pink and purple that was in my hair is now gone almsot completely coz of the sweat and the sunscreen, but ah well.

Oh I needn't forget how amazing 30 Seconds to Mars was....He is amazing and the band is amazing. Everyone was so full of energy and the vube felt so good. I screamed like a little girl and was jumping up and down with excitement. Gosh I love them. So awesome.

Well there is still so much to tell but I don't know how to word it. Best Freaking Day Ever!

I think I may go to sleep soon and rest my head from this blasted headache.
Catchas later!
Beth xx

...Well that was fun

So I have had a busy week and a bit.
First: I went to my dads last weekend and it was actually pretty good. I did some more manual driving with dad. He is a good teacher and I haven't paniced once with him. My little sisters were cute as always! We went the farmers markets on the saturday and got up at 6:00am to be there by 7am. We had our usual Knackwurst sausage for brekkie and a coffee with a morning tea of freshly made yogurt and freshly squeezed juice. Twas good. My grandparents came over that night too which was good. I always love seeing them. :) I had a pretty good weekend all in all complete with breakfast sunday morning with the family at The Coffee Club. Which leads me to the rest of my week.
My cousin Anne came over that sunday night and she is still here! :D It's been pretty fun. We have been staying up soooo late every night and waking up at 12:30 in the arvo. Most of the time has been spent doing not much at all besides pissing ourselves laughing. It has been great! We even managed to make Valentines day fun. Valentines day is my Mum and Wilsons 2nd anniversary. Mum went to Wilsons house on the sunday night at his request. Turns out that he had taken monday (valentines day) off just to be with mum. So Anne and I took the chance to have some fun. We made a little menu and decided to set up outside as a little romantice dinner place for two completed with little candles around our (brand new...well kinda old but new to us (mum surprised me with it when I got home sunday from dads :D)) spa pool (non functioning spa). We put a table cloth on the table complete with plates, cutlery, a wine glass for mum and a stubby cooler for Wilson. On the side we had a pot filled with Ice which contained a wine bottle of Wispers Chardonnay and two Four X beers for Wilson. In the pool we put flowers too. I ended up cooking a roast chicken marinated in lime and coriandor and roast vegetables. Let's just say the mum and Wilson LOVED it. We even served them Ice Cream with a drizzle of caramel and a freddo and ferrero rocher on top. :) twas a good night.
Also....I dyed some of my hair pink....it's freaking awesome. Anne was so excited she had the chance to dye my hair....finally! And tomorrow....we are putting Velvet Blue in mums hair.... we are excited! I am also having a strand of hair dyed pink with blue coon stripes. FTW!
Tonight Anne and I walked around the shops putting positve sticky notes on everything. There was even a lady walking around with one of my sticky notes on her shirt! It made me smile. After that we went and saw Black Swan.....It is such a brilliant, fucking AWESOME movie. Very well done, disturbing and on edge. It gave me goosebumps. I recommend it to you all.

All in all I am in a pretty rad mood!
Laters peeps!!!
Beth xx

...I've had enough

Some people just can't take a joke. They have to ruin it and point out things...things I already knew. I was simply making fun of the government and channel 9 because of how they worded something but everyone got all technical. So now I can't joke around anymore? Everyone finishes school and starts Uni and they decide they taking the micky outta of something just isn't funny and they joking about something is immature. Seriously guys! Loosen up a little. Just because you are starting Uni now doesn't mean you have to lose the child inside of you. It's ok to joke, it's ok to live a little and act immature sometimes, it's ok to have fun.
Why is everyone degrading me for it? Yes, I am outgoing. Yes, I can act a little crazy. Yes, I can be immature. Yes, Small things amuse me but so what! I'm living my life and I am trying to make the best of it, but it's so hard when everyone around you just kinda seems to push you down or look at you like you are an absolute retard, an immature child. FFS.

I didn't get to do my sticky note plan with Sue. Unfortunately work rang and asked me to come in for 3 hours coz they had some training to do...and well, I am strapped for cash and desperately need it. I cried alot about it though because work is just screwing me over and they always ring when I have something planned, but when I am doing nothing and want to work, I never get work. I felt so bad for Sue too. She was so excited about it...and I had to turn her down.

I did something nice in the wee hours of this morning. I wrote my mums partner a little note to put in his lunch box saying Hey Wilson! Hope you have a great day at work. Enjoy your lunch! <3 Beth xox =D. Just simply to make his day because his own kids don't give a rats ass. I made the man cry. He really deserves better than the attention his kids give him. I write my mum a letter. I've been a bit of a snappy chappy lately and mum has been copping it from me. I felt bad about it. She is also going through her own problems so we have both just been edgy and it's just caused tension in the air.
This is the letter:
Good Morning Mummy!
I Hope that you are feeling well this fine morning. I just though I'd let you know how much I love you and think that you are a wonderful mother. I know things get hard and i know you miss Ami alot, but i want you to know that we can stick this out together and I am here through thick and thin. I love you heaps. You give the most amazing hugs and the little things you do for me make me smile so much and I appreciate it all. I know I can get on your nerves sometimes because I hardly clean my room and stuff, but I am sorry for the times I snap. I know that you are just being a good mum and if it weren't for you...I wouldn't be the person I am today. You have done so much for me. Supported me, supported and believed in my hopes and dreams, allowed me to prosper and have my moments. Helped me learn from my mistakes and grow on what I have achieved. You have been the best mum a mother could be! You continue to do so everyday. I know sometimes you feel down about the way you look, but to me, Wilson and so many other people...you are beautiful and stronghearted. You're amazing in so many ways. Creative, smart, sporty, funny, lovable, huggable, caring, considerate, nurturing, loyal, brave, tenatious and a wonderful mother with people around you that love and adore you. You've left footprints on so many people and you leave them wherever you go. people never forget you because of who you are and what you stand for. I will never forget you. I love you heaps mum. <3 Beth xoxo infinite. <3 * :) xo

She's amazing.

Laters!
Beth xx

...Shutdown...

When is enough, enough? How much should one person deal with? I think I am starting to finally realise why I am having so much issues with friends...It's the drama that goes with them. I'm tired of being the one they come to complain to and to ask advice from...and the thing is, I think they have realised it and moved on...And now I have a new one who has learned that I am a good listener and great with advice, and even though Sue is such a sweetie...I don't know how to tell her that I can't take any more. It'll just crush her. She is finally learning to open up and move on from everything and open up her friendship circle. But really, I have my own issues I need to deal with and I honestly can't here any more drama because it's all to overwhelming.
I got to see my friend Joker. The one I was telling you about, who always texts me and never gives me a break...but everytime I see her, I don't want her to go...It was real good just walking around the shops with her today. To catch up and all. I really missed her, and I just never knew how much.
I feel like I am trying to cling onto the past, when I really need to look ahead.
This weekend I am going to my dads. He is off the whole weekend! I'm glad, because even though my step-mum drives me nuts...I love my dad and miss him so much. I'd like to see him more often but I can't stand her. I get to see my sisters too :) Dad and the girls make me trully happy, and I forget my worries, forget the world and focus on here and now. My mum has that affect on me too but it is so unbelievably amazing to see my dad and the girls. Even my dad gets excited when I ask to come over. But my step-mum just makes it all hell.  Gahh!

I'm off again to the shops tomorrow to do a little bit of do-good positiveness involving sticky-notes and a permenant pen. Let's just say Sue and I are sticking them everywhere around the shops and on clothes tags etc. with positive note written on them :).
I'm off to go write some more now.

Night all!
Beth xx

...Hug me?

Usually I put on a brave face and pretend like nothing is bothering me, but really...I am hurting inside. I'm really trying to stay positive about things and just go with the flow, but the problem is, the flow aint going nowhere. I'm trying to lose weight but it's so damn hard. It doesn't help when your dad and step-mum constantly pick on the fact I don't look like I have lost weight or changed much at all. But then you have someone telling you that you look like you have lost weight, every time they see you...and you know for a fact that you haven't changed size at all because your clothes still fit the same. It just hurts so much.
I'm still upset about the fact I'm losing friends and the only closet friend you have, you don't get to see often. I thank him ever so much for being there for me. I have this other friend too. She's a really sweetie and is going through a real tough time right now, though she can be a little over dramatic. I'm teaching her to cook too. But it's just not the same. It's really hard to not have contact with your once best friend. She is busy at school and isn't allowed to see me anymore and now we are drifting apart...I no longer feel like we are best friends, I feel more like an aquaintance to her now. We used to share everyday together, stay up late talking, just being best friends and now....nothing :( I'm so tired of crying.
I just want things to be different, for my dad to be able to have a D 'n' M with me and not tell my step mum everything we talked about. By gosh she is just a bitch, she really ruins everything and is trying to control my life. I want to be able to see my dad without her being in my face. She doesn't want to share him but to bloody bad, I am here to. I want to be able to have dad confront me himself if he has a problem about something or thinks I need to pull my weight around the house a bit more. Not have her go behind dads back to lecture me and belittle me. I want to be able to see my friends more, to actually feel like I have friends, and not feel so alone all the time. I thank my friend Sue for coming over every now and then, staying the night and cooking with me, watching movies and swapping goss, but as I said, it just isn't the same. She is just going to be friend for now, and for a while. I just really need a hug.
I'm a very huggable person. I love hugs. They make me feel warm and fuzzy and I can tell so much from just one hug. Whether I am going to be able to get along well with the person, what type of mood they are in, if they are tense, relaxed, moody, faking it. It's very easy to tell someone by a hug....and I kinda miss that.
I just feel a little left out of everything. Left out of whats new. Left out of conversations. Talked over. Ignored. The third wheel. The one thats there, just there. I used to be known as a leader of a group. I'd be the motherly figure, the one my friends would come to for everything, be it a hug, a laugh, someone to talk to, someone to tell them straight, for brutal honesty, a shoulder to cry one. The first one they would call to hang out with. But now I don't even feel mentioned. I kinda hate being out of school right now.
I miss being held, feeling loved and even worse, Valentines day is coming up. Oh how I hate the day. It's kinda my unlucky day because everything just seems to go wrong.The one time I had someone to be my valentine, my ex boyfriend, he decides to ring me up the day before and cancel our plans because he had something come up with his friends and he didn't want to miss it. My work rings up asking for me to work a 10 hour shift on Valentines day, so I said yes because I'd rather not sop about it all day at home, I'd rather a distraction. But being work, I was put on express lanes and got to watch everyone all loved up walking around the shops and the flower stand outside was packed with guys buying roses and balloons for their valentine. It was miserable. But to top that damn day off, my ex decides to ring me saying, "oh guess what babe!?! we can do our valentines day plans now. My mates cancelled so I'm free now". My response being "go shove it up your ass, I'm working now because you fucked up and turned me down knowing full well I was excited that I finally had a valentine and you screw me over because your friends had a better plan. Well you can go and hang out with those little friends of yours now. Have fun, enjoy..." hang up. Furious I was.

I really have to stop ranting but this is the only way I can vent.
Being 2am right now, it's no wonder while my sleeping pattern is screwed. But I just can't sleep anymore...

laters...
Beth xx

....My Life Be Like, not moving anywhere.

Sometimes my mind starts to wonder and let I let myself sink into deep thoughts, esspecially when I am home alone. I'm starting to wonder where I stand, where I am in life, what to do, where do I go from here? And now that I have finished school, everything has changed and I am trying to keep up. When it comes to my friends, I don't know where I stand anymore. I don't really get to see anyone and now that most of my friends are out of school, they are moving on and closing up their friendships circles and I am kinda outta the loop here. I don't really feel like I have any close friends anymore and I feel like I'm not the one they want to hang out with or see anymore. They're all moving on with TAFE and UNI and they all start their courses soon but I am taking a gap year. I don't regret my decision because I have good reasons for it. I want to get a full-time job so I can afford my TAFE course (diploma of Nursing Enrolled Nurse course) and I am also joining the army reserves.
But finding a job is so hard and my dad and step-mum are on my back everytime I see them and speak to them, thats all that seems to matter to them. "Have you got a job yet?" "you realllly have to get a move on and start searching" "why don't you have a job yet?"....seriously BACK off. I'm doing the best I can and it isn't my fault that I'm not getting anything back yet. All they do is stress me out about everything. I'm over being treating like I'm a useless daughter that isn't motivated, doesn't know what she's doing, to lazy to do this, doesn't dress like this, doesn't behave like that. Why can't they accept me for me?
And my friends...My best friend I'm not allowed to see anymore coz her parents hate me, I don't get to see her also because she is still at highschool and I'm finished, My once best friend who still thinks of me as a best friend just drives me insane and bugs me all the time but I yet I can't help but miss her and it would hurt so much if we stopped all contact for good but I still can't stand her, it's weird this attatchment to her. My school-daughter, I consider her a great friend, we never really had huge conversations or talk deep into things but I love her to bits and she is just so cute, but I don't get to see her anymore, ever. She isn't allowed to come over because I live so far away from her and she is also now still at school. I miss her heaps. Another friend of mine, my concert buddy, she is just tooo depressing. Everything now is a drama or "I'm going to cut myself, I hate the world", but she brings it on herself. I can't stand it and if I say anything, it's like I become this evil person who she hates with a passion because "how dare I say something like that". My outside of school friends have closed up there circle, they see eachother all the time, text and call eachother, but they never reply to what I say really and are always pre-occupied or have plans. Then the group I hung out with at school for the last year, they don't really speek much and only decide to hang out when it's a bday or something, they aren't into the, lets-hang-out-and-have-a-sleep-over-just-coz type of thing.
I just feel so lost. Why do I have to live so far away and why is it so hard to get my P's. If only I had my P's, then I would be able to go place and go and see people, but my parents are not helpful at all in helping me drive with them to get my hours up. It's either I don't feel like it, to much cost for petrol or how about tomorrow?
This heat just doesn't help. I am trying to lose weight because I need to be a certain weight to get into the army reserves, but it's too hot and excersize makes me feel sick and lethargic in this weather. My body doesn't handle the heat. The pool down the road is also way to expensive. I hate sitting here, everyday, doing the same thing over and over. Sleep-in, eat, TV, Laptop, nap if I feel like it, stay up late watching TV or a movie then bed again only to do the same thing. I miss school.

Sorry for the random rant but writing is one of the only ways I can get things off my mind and express myself. :)
I should get some sleep.
Laters!
Beth xx

...Burn Baby Burn

I know It's been a week but I have been to hot and bothered to even get on my laptop. So its been Realllly hot lately. I am ever so thankful that there is a pool just down the road from me. It's been great. Eating iceblocks, laying under a fan, sitting with an ice cold washer on my face and having cold showers....yeah I can't wait for winter. Hopefully I'll get to go skiing again. But I doubt that coz it's so expensive.

I'm liking the fact that it's February coz it means it's the last month of summer, so bring on winter! I love the cold so much better. But February also means Soundwave! Only the best 12 hour concert with over 20 awesome heavy metal/punk/screamo etc bands! And I get to go! I went last year for my first time and loved it and this year, it has even more awesome bands. I can't wait to mosh to BMTH and BFMV, 30 Seconds to Mars, Iron Maiden. Too many to name! I'm pretty excited. To buy a new (or a few) band shirts, chill out with one of my best friends and whoever else I'll run into there (guarenteed I will run into people), check out the stalls, mosh, crowd surf (hopefully) and exaust myself stupid. 10am-10pm of pure epicness!

I may not post anything this weekend as my mums partners' kids are staying with us while there dad goes to towoomba. Hopefully on Saturday we are going to Dreamworld! Tower of Terror 2, Bring. It. On! It should be good, as long as little miss 11yr old keeps her cool and shuts her mouth. I don't think I could put up with her singing and demanding attitude for much longer. At least mister 13yr old and I get along.

Laters Peeps!
Beth xx

P.s My thoughts are with those in North QLD. May you all be safe and may you never lose hope while Cyclone Yusi rages on.

...Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi Oi Oi!

Australia day. Day of BBQ's, swimming, wearing and showing off your aussie pride and pretty much just simply being lazy. As per usual they day was really hot. SO thankful I had a pool to swim in. I spent it at my Step-mums parents place with her family. It's a small family, but nice.
My little sisters were excited to see me when my dad picked me up. The smiles they had always melt my heart. It was fun to be with them and watch them try on my clothes (even though they looked like dresses on them). I can't believe they are almost 2!! :)
They are learning to swim now and on Australia day, they did just that. They were so tired from swimming all day they almost fell asleep before their dinner. Bless them. For our Aussie dinner we had Lamb cutlets and Black Angus Steak with a Greek salad and bread. I couldn't finish it.
We stayed the night at my Step-grandparents place and I shared a room with my sisters. They woke me up at 5am by pulling my arm and giggling at me everytime I moved. Gotta love them.


So I am In-Love with Avatar: The Last Airbender. I'm watching the entire series for the second time! I've almost finished the Complete Book 2 series :) so I am off to finish watching them.
Laters!
Beth xx

P.s Secret Tunnel! Through the mountain, Secret Tunnel!

...Full of adrenalin

So movie world was actually today, not sunday :P way to read the text mum hahaha. It was a pretty awesome day though. We went on every ride and got soaking wet in the kiddies water play thingy. I officially LOVE the superman ride, the Batwing and the Scooby-doo spooky coaster. Twas epic. Have a headache thoguh from being bashed around on the Lethal Weapon! Hell yeah was that fun. Your legs are left to dangle and it goes upside down and does twists. What a rush.

Super duper tired now but it's a good tired. Gonna sleep like a baby tonight. Speaking of babies, I get to go to my dads tomorrow (: that means I get to see my little baby sisters! They're so cute. <3 I also get to spend Australia day with them and my step-grandparents place. Looking forward to a good BBQ. I'm going to wear my aussie day shirt with a yellow bow in my hair and paint my nails green and yellow. Aussie Pride.

I won't be on for a couple of days due to internet limitations but meh.
 Laters!
Beth xx

...Hellz Yeah!

It's funny to think that I mentioned that I hate floral prints on clothes....well guess what, I bought myself a floral print dress. And yes, I did say dress. But this one is really nice. Typical woman, can't make a decision.
I can't wait for today to really start. I'm heading down the coast to catch up with my family friends from Melbourne. I Can't wait! We have crab ready to eat by the beach, might go see a movie. Not sure really. All I know is I am excited to see them. I miss them heaps.

Last night was so much fun. My mum and I normally don't get to do anything together as just us. But after waking up finally at 3:30pm, I had this spontaneous idea to go to the Drive-In. My mum actually agreed on it. We cooked the crab before we left to be ready for tomorrow, made some sammiches :D grabbed a box of Shapes: Cheese and Bacon flavour (the best), two water bottles and our pillows. We reversed the car in and popped the boot, laid the chairs back and put our pillows down. We watched Green Hornet and Unstoppable. Two very good movies. Green Hornet was hilarious with just the right amount of action, though a little slow to begin with. Unstoppable was brilliant. I was sitting on the edge of the boot biting my fingernails with suspense. There was hardly any swearing in it too which was great! Made me focus on the movie more (I hate it when the make characters swear all the time, just makes the film look like trash). I recommend it for anyone who hasn't seen it. I love my mum. It was such a great night. When we got home we had a cuppa tea and a hot chocolate then slept like babies. I even woke up at 8am this morning. That NEVER happens. For the past week I have woken up at 12ish. It's rediculous.

I'm off. Time to get ready for the day :) Movie World tomorrow FTW! Could things get any better? Such a good mood.

Laters!
Beth xx

...One big load of blah!

So I ahd work today. It was pretty good considering it was Thrusday late night. Not as busy as I expected it to be. However my feet are KILLING me. And so are my shoulders. But anyhoo. So there are a few things on my mind that Are really bugging me.
One: How on earth do I tell my dad that I didn't pass highschool?
Two: I just want to see my best friend but unfortunately her mother seems to hate me and refuses to let her see me. It really sucks. But I am so glad I got to walk around with her today while she handed out resumes. Her mum even knew that I was with her and wasn't overly bugged by it. But it doesnt change anything.
Three: How do you tell someone that they have to stop stalking you and calling you all the time and posting on your Facebook ALL THE TIME! But yet you guys have so many good memories and she still thinks you're her best friend. Well, you're kinda one of her only friends. But then again, you don't wanna lose her because everytime you leave her after hanging out for the day, you want to cry because you miss her like crazy, infact, you start crying about it while thinking about it now.
Four. What are my plans for tomorrow?
Five: How the hell do I get my feet to stop aching?
Six: I feel like watching a movie, but what movie?
Seven: I wonder how my little sisters are? I wish I could see them everyday. I can't believe that they are now 23 months old. It feels like an entire month since I have seen them. They are growing up so fast. I wish I could see their little faces everyday. Wake up to them banging on my door and saying in their cute little voices "Door?" Or while I hang off the end of my bed trying to put my hair up and one comes and gives my a sloppy kiss on my cheek or lips. Or when the other go "moo" everytime you ask her what sound a cow makes. Gosh they are gorgeous. I love sitting with them while they have bath time, even though I end up soaking wet because they think it is fun to tip a cup of water on me. Hehe.
Eight: I really need to drive more. COME ON 50 MORE HOURS! I'll get there eventually.
Nine: I hope we have Ice Cream in the freezer.

I know I am rambling on a bit but hey, don't we all?

I'm looking forward to Australia Day. I get to spend it with my dad. Which means I get to be with my little sisters. Should be good. Have a BBQ with some snags and maybe some lamb, or we will have seafood. Chill by the pool. Take the girls for a swim and just lay back and think of how good it is being an Aussie. :)
Also have some family friends up from Melbourne. I'm pretty excited because I get to see them on Saturday! They are amazing and I love them to bits. We might be seeing the movie Green Hornet.

I'm off to make myself some vanilla ice cream with chocolate mashed in it. Cold Rock Style!
Night all.
Beth xx

Hello World :) Nice to meet you.

Hey there. My name is Beth. I am currently 17yrs of age and I'm a shorty. I'm fairly open-minded and I can't stand people who just don't listen and are arrogant with self pride. Usually I am very good at telling a lie from the truth and my gut instinct is always right. Don't be shy, so if you want to get to know me or want to ask me a question, feel free.

So, I finished school. Probably one of the best feelings of my life. I'm taking a gap year so I can afford my TAFE course (coz they are so flipping expensive these days). Also joining the army reseves part time until I have finshed all of my qualifications then bring on the full time army.

Bit of a risk taker and love adrenalin rushes. Take me to a theme park and I'll be sure to be lining up for the "scary rides" :P. I plan to jump out of a plane one day (with a parachute of course) also bungee jumping is on my list. I plan to travel the world and ski the highests of mountains and swim in the bluest of ocean. Planning on doing the kakoda track too.

You can usually find me sitting on my couch with my computer on. I really have to get outta this house more often.

I should probably go to bed now. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. Ugh. Bloody wisdom teeth.

Catch yas later ;)
Beth xx