About Me

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I am me, Me is I. I express myself through writing and through my actions but not my words. I think with my heart but sometimes my brain takes over. I dream, I feel, I breathe, I love, I think. With trust comes my respect but break it once and you will spends years maybe your life rebuilding it and it will never, ever under any circumstances be completely regained.

Sunday, March 13, 2011


Ok what the hell is with this...All of a sudden these guys who are younger than me by a year or two start liking me and asking me on dates. WTF? Just because I am nice does not mean I like you in that way...I treat everyone the same just like I would like to be treated myself. I find this quite gross actually. I'm into guys who are my own age or even a year older but younger is a definite no. But the weird thing is, that it is after I leave school and when I don't see them at all that they "all of a sudden start talking to me more and liking me or asking me to the movies as friends then turning around and saying "no I want this to be a date"....either way my answer is just simply no. I don't know why but I honestly want to vomit about it. I don't want to be mean or anything but the truth is, not only are they just younger than me, but they are the type of guys who are a little more than the usual weird guy...these are guys who refuse to grow up and are either obsessed with cartoons to the point their room is full of them and all the clothes they own have either spongebob or invader zim. They have cardboard cutouts and stuffed toys of them and even spend their time mimicking their voices (which I must admit he is very good at and can do over 50 differant voices). The next is just so imature in everyway and has gross hygien and past shoulder length greesy hair. He is sweet and all but he is two years younger than me and I have known him since I was in grade 9....He hasn't changed much. Just no. The third I am not really sure if he likes me, but I know I am one of the only girls who will actually talk to him, but he makes me feel uncomfortable....let's just say, it is not going to happen. I must be giving off some vibe that says "Hey, all you guys younger than me, come fall for me, im only gonna break your heart because I don't like younger men but hey! why don't you all start liking me around the same time and irratate the shit out of me"....I hate this. I'm not exactly ready for a relationship, I'm actually kinda a little scared to jump into one because I have trust issues with men thats just so hard to get past and through past experiences (not just my own but with my mum and my sister and just living in the environment I have), I have become pretty picky about the guys I fall for. And it sucks. But the number one thing is that they must at least be my own age or a max of a year and a little bit older.

I just can't get this sickly feeling out of my stomach at the thought of it.

Well...I gotta start getting ready for work soon so laters all.
Beth xx

1 comment:

  1. I sympathize for you, ahaha. Goodluck with the lovely situation ;p