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I am me, Me is I. I express myself through writing and through my actions but not my words. I think with my heart but sometimes my brain takes over. I dream, I feel, I breathe, I love, I think. With trust comes my respect but break it once and you will spends years maybe your life rebuilding it and it will never, ever under any circumstances be completely regained.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

...I've had enough

Some people just can't take a joke. They have to ruin it and point out things...things I already knew. I was simply making fun of the government and channel 9 because of how they worded something but everyone got all technical. So now I can't joke around anymore? Everyone finishes school and starts Uni and they decide they taking the micky outta of something just isn't funny and they joking about something is immature. Seriously guys! Loosen up a little. Just because you are starting Uni now doesn't mean you have to lose the child inside of you. It's ok to joke, it's ok to live a little and act immature sometimes, it's ok to have fun.
Why is everyone degrading me for it? Yes, I am outgoing. Yes, I can act a little crazy. Yes, I can be immature. Yes, Small things amuse me but so what! I'm living my life and I am trying to make the best of it, but it's so hard when everyone around you just kinda seems to push you down or look at you like you are an absolute retard, an immature child. FFS.

I didn't get to do my sticky note plan with Sue. Unfortunately work rang and asked me to come in for 3 hours coz they had some training to do...and well, I am strapped for cash and desperately need it. I cried alot about it though because work is just screwing me over and they always ring when I have something planned, but when I am doing nothing and want to work, I never get work. I felt so bad for Sue too. She was so excited about it...and I had to turn her down.

I did something nice in the wee hours of this morning. I wrote my mums partner a little note to put in his lunch box saying Hey Wilson! Hope you have a great day at work. Enjoy your lunch! <3 Beth xox =D. Just simply to make his day because his own kids don't give a rats ass. I made the man cry. He really deserves better than the attention his kids give him. I write my mum a letter. I've been a bit of a snappy chappy lately and mum has been copping it from me. I felt bad about it. She is also going through her own problems so we have both just been edgy and it's just caused tension in the air.
This is the letter:
Good Morning Mummy!
I Hope that you are feeling well this fine morning. I just though I'd let you know how much I love you and think that you are a wonderful mother. I know things get hard and i know you miss Ami alot, but i want you to know that we can stick this out together and I am here through thick and thin. I love you heaps. You give the most amazing hugs and the little things you do for me make me smile so much and I appreciate it all. I know I can get on your nerves sometimes because I hardly clean my room and stuff, but I am sorry for the times I snap. I know that you are just being a good mum and if it weren't for you...I wouldn't be the person I am today. You have done so much for me. Supported me, supported and believed in my hopes and dreams, allowed me to prosper and have my moments. Helped me learn from my mistakes and grow on what I have achieved. You have been the best mum a mother could be! You continue to do so everyday. I know sometimes you feel down about the way you look, but to me, Wilson and so many other people...you are beautiful and stronghearted. You're amazing in so many ways. Creative, smart, sporty, funny, lovable, huggable, caring, considerate, nurturing, loyal, brave, tenatious and a wonderful mother with people around you that love and adore you. You've left footprints on so many people and you leave them wherever you go. people never forget you because of who you are and what you stand for. I will never forget you. I love you heaps mum. <3 Beth xoxo infinite. <3 * :) xo

She's amazing.

Beth xx

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