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I am me, Me is I. I express myself through writing and through my actions but not my words. I think with my heart but sometimes my brain takes over. I dream, I feel, I breathe, I love, I think. With trust comes my respect but break it once and you will spends years maybe your life rebuilding it and it will never, ever under any circumstances be completely regained.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

...Shutdown...

When is enough, enough? How much should one person deal with? I think I am starting to finally realise why I am having so much issues with friends...It's the drama that goes with them. I'm tired of being the one they come to complain to and to ask advice from...and the thing is, I think they have realised it and moved on...And now I have a new one who has learned that I am a good listener and great with advice, and even though Sue is such a sweetie...I don't know how to tell her that I can't take any more. It'll just crush her. She is finally learning to open up and move on from everything and open up her friendship circle. But really, I have my own issues I need to deal with and I honestly can't here any more drama because it's all to overwhelming.
I got to see my friend Joker. The one I was telling you about, who always texts me and never gives me a break...but everytime I see her, I don't want her to go...It was real good just walking around the shops with her today. To catch up and all. I really missed her, and I just never knew how much.
I feel like I am trying to cling onto the past, when I really need to look ahead.
This weekend I am going to my dads. He is off the whole weekend! I'm glad, because even though my step-mum drives me nuts...I love my dad and miss him so much. I'd like to see him more often but I can't stand her. I get to see my sisters too :) Dad and the girls make me trully happy, and I forget my worries, forget the world and focus on here and now. My mum has that affect on me too but it is so unbelievably amazing to see my dad and the girls. Even my dad gets excited when I ask to come over. But my step-mum just makes it all hell.  Gahh!

I'm off again to the shops tomorrow to do a little bit of do-good positiveness involving sticky-notes and a permenant pen. Let's just say Sue and I are sticking them everywhere around the shops and on clothes tags etc. with positive note written on them :).
I'm off to go write some more now.

Night all!
Beth xx

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