So I am going through a massive life change right now. Yeah I found something else to blog about even though I should go to bed coz I have to go early tomorrow. Anyhoo, I have things about myself I don't like. Things about my body, my bad habits, my personality, you get the drift.
I started with my room. A complete and total mess. Represents my mind. It is now clean, tidy and re-arrange though I am still trying to work in the Feng Shui but having a mirror (especially the one I have) is bad so I am figuring ways I can change that. I feel much clearer in my mind like I have more room to think.
Now to work on the body and the personality. This starts with excersize, healthy eating and cleansing of the mind and body by clearing the rest of your space. For eg. Spaces you are frequently found (i.e. living room, kitchen, work.) Keep them clean and clutterless. Work on your body. Not just the parts you want to fix, but all of it. Keeping yourself toned, fit and healthy leads to a better well-being and the release of more of the good stuff into your body such as endorphin's that make you happy. Healthy eating also makes sure that all that excersize doesn't go to waste. Plus you feel better too when you eat something healthy and light rather than something heavy, fatty and sloppy. :) It's not hard when you get going. I have actually lost 10 kilos in the past year and I now weigh 70kg though probably less now that I have started this....but I haven't weighed myself for a while. I probably should.
I am also making a positivity poster! Decorate it! Make it pretty! Write on it with bright colours all the things you like about yourself and things that make you feel good like going for a walk or seeing the sunset/rise. Stick it somewhere you will see it everyday! Mine is going on my mirror!
It has been emotional so I won't lie and say that it is easy. I have snapped, cried, laughed and even completely broken down. I even broke down the other day when I rode a bike for the first time in years. The first part of the bike ride my dad decided we'd start up hill....I almost died after five minutes and threw up. I felt so gutted and devistated that my cardio os so bad that I rode home and let dad finish his bike ride....But I picked myself up when he got back and took myself on an easier ride for 40mins....I felt much better about myself and started at a level I was more capable of. I have bought a skipping rope and a new pair of running shoes (which cost a fortune but are worth it) to help build my cardio because I have to be able to get a minimum of 7.5 on the beep test. I have 2 years and no more to reach this goal otherwise my life's goal to be an army nurse dwindles down the drain. I also made my own weights out of two 600ml water bottles, rocks and water to help build muscle in my arms because I also fail at push ups and need to be able to do 10....I can't even do two. Sit-ups I am proud to say I can actually do 40. I feel the burn afterwoods but I can do them none the less.
All in all I am building my fitness and my well being. It's been difficult and I have had some SERIOUS downers....but I am picking myself up and moving on. I can do this. By this summer I WILL be comfortable enough to where bikinis at the beach. Or even just a full piece with no shorts. I have a goal. I have a dream. I am sticking to it.